you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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