his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
