Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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