I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
