marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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