I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
