I like my sex mixed with concussions.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
