So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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