Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
