he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
