he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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