Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
