he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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