Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
