Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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