Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
