So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
