Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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