Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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