You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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