last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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