Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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