You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We left an ass print on the piano.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
