Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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