If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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