David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
