when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
