The maid of honor just puked.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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