I molested 6 butterflies tonight
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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