Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
