Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Let's paint friendship bongs
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
