Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
