We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Alive.
So much puke
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
