my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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