just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
