I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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