Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
