one might say we're banned from that church
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
True strength comes from lack of pants
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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