i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
sick fucks of a feather flock together
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
