You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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