Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
