I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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