so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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