Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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