lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
