you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
