You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
