Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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