i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
