This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
